I'm really enjoying my break from the real world. Which is what it's starting to feel like, in a good way. In a necessary way.
It's not really a sustainable existence with the amount of teaching hours I have now. I mean, I have enough to live on, but I'm not saving anything. I don't really want to take on more because I already spend most of my time during the week working, and I'm thinking about what I want to do with some of the free time I have then. It's been nice because I've felt a renewed sense of focus and inspiration after the holidays, and the new energy I've been putting into my classes is paying off. I feel prepared and excited about my lessons when I walk into the class, and it shows from the response of the students. Still trying to figure out how to deal with the 12 yr olds' behavior, but that's another issue. Anyway, money-wise, it's not sustainable, and enough hours to actually save would mean that I'm living life only on the weekends, which I don't want to do. Which is why I feel like I'm hiding out. On vacation, if you will.
But what a fulfilling and enriching vacation. Taking yourself out of your comfort zone, all those cliches, they're all true. When you throw yourself into the lion's den, aka, new country, new language, new job, you open yourself up to be vulnerable and have to then deal with all those insecurities you pretend don't exist. For example in my classes, I've had to separate who I am as a person from my lesson plan (maybe sometimes one that doesn't work) or from my students that might be tired, having teenage angst, or just plain don't like English. It's been good for my perfectionism as I've realized that I can't be so hard on myself because I'm still learning how to teach just like I'm still learning Spanish.
But the people I've met have all been worth it. Having all English teacher friends is not good for learning Spanish, but it is good for meeting people also in flux in their life, also looking for their path, also throwing themselves into the same lion's den and being vulnerable with each other, because that's the only way to cope with the challenges. You have to, you have to learn to ask for help, even if you're not used to it, you have to admit when something's hard because you know other people feel it too, and you have to share the ideas and the triumphs because you know they'll understand. The common purpose of finding that something else, that experience that will make us grow brings us so close together so much faster than if we were in our comfort zone, floating along, with our defenses up.
And now I know better the conditions that challenge me in this positive constructive way to keep growing throughout my life. I don't think moving countries every few years is always necessary, but I trust that I'll know what to do when I feel life needs a little shaking up - when it needs it ;)
It's not really a sustainable existence with the amount of teaching hours I have now. I mean, I have enough to live on, but I'm not saving anything. I don't really want to take on more because I already spend most of my time during the week working, and I'm thinking about what I want to do with some of the free time I have then. It's been nice because I've felt a renewed sense of focus and inspiration after the holidays, and the new energy I've been putting into my classes is paying off. I feel prepared and excited about my lessons when I walk into the class, and it shows from the response of the students. Still trying to figure out how to deal with the 12 yr olds' behavior, but that's another issue. Anyway, money-wise, it's not sustainable, and enough hours to actually save would mean that I'm living life only on the weekends, which I don't want to do. Which is why I feel like I'm hiding out. On vacation, if you will.
But what a fulfilling and enriching vacation. Taking yourself out of your comfort zone, all those cliches, they're all true. When you throw yourself into the lion's den, aka, new country, new language, new job, you open yourself up to be vulnerable and have to then deal with all those insecurities you pretend don't exist. For example in my classes, I've had to separate who I am as a person from my lesson plan (maybe sometimes one that doesn't work) or from my students that might be tired, having teenage angst, or just plain don't like English. It's been good for my perfectionism as I've realized that I can't be so hard on myself because I'm still learning how to teach just like I'm still learning Spanish.
But the people I've met have all been worth it. Having all English teacher friends is not good for learning Spanish, but it is good for meeting people also in flux in their life, also looking for their path, also throwing themselves into the same lion's den and being vulnerable with each other, because that's the only way to cope with the challenges. You have to, you have to learn to ask for help, even if you're not used to it, you have to admit when something's hard because you know other people feel it too, and you have to share the ideas and the triumphs because you know they'll understand. The common purpose of finding that something else, that experience that will make us grow brings us so close together so much faster than if we were in our comfort zone, floating along, with our defenses up.
And now I know better the conditions that challenge me in this positive constructive way to keep growing throughout my life. I don't think moving countries every few years is always necessary, but I trust that I'll know what to do when I feel life needs a little shaking up - when it needs it ;)
Some of these people at beautiful Casa de Campo - the huge park here - on a beautiful day
My beloved Plaza de España back in the city and the royal palace to the right
When JD and I took the cable car over the same park a few weeks ago
...on a foggy day
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