Bye bye Spain!

A post to close this Spain chapter as I move on to the next adventure - New Zealand!

I'm noticing a strange thing lately. My life has become impressive to some people. And it's true, when I think about it, all the moves around the world do sound courageous. And they are. But it's also become less of a courage thing and just something I know I must do. A feeling of 'I have to go there.' For a long time I was resisting the Europe thing and finally just gave into the feeling. Was it a good idea? Yes absolutely. Did I know it would be beforehand? No. But I finally heeded the pull to come. 

A feeling of understanding this experience came to me recently. First of all, the mind's curiosities were fulfilled such as learning a new language, meeting people from different cultures, finding out what it's like to live in another part of the world. And trying a completely different job. These were all unforgettable experiences, but what's the even better part to it is getting to know myself. There were many many joyful moments, feeling connections, finding the things and people that resonate for me. Some of them, like the international yoga class are special to the place. I couldn't find that in LA for example. There were other, difficult things that would nudge, poke, and just pierce the various emotional barricades I had, the masks I was wearing, the stories I've gotten used to about myself. Sometimes it felt like crap. Like the teenage students that I had no idea how to deal with. The only way out of this was to look inside, to examine what it was in me that was making me feel bad. I am sure more triggers await, but I won't go out looking for them now. I've learned how to be nicer to myself and allow myself to rest, to take the easier path if I want to. To stop proving things to myself and others. 

Thankfully along the way I found that support is always available if you look for it. And I did. Big time. And I found lots and lots of it in various beautiful forms. Without it I would have crawled into a little hole in a cave somewhere near Granada and not come out. So that's what they call 'growth'. Uf what a way to grow. My living question now is, can you grow without being forced to? That is, without something poking at your usual image of yourself and the world? I had a conversation last night with someone that works in new product development for a technology company. The question was very similar. Can you innovate and be creative without constraints? 

It's not necessary to grow when your life is running along perfectly fine. Unless it's not. That is unless you feel an emptiness inside, a begging for something different. Nothing is wrong per se but yet your soul is begging you for something. That's what took me to Spain and that's what's taking me to New Zealand now. 

So if it's in your heart to travel, to move, to change jobs, to do that thing you feel an indescribable pull towards, it's for a reason, and it's just going to stay there until you go and do it!

Dive headfirst into the unknown. That's where all the goodies are!!